Without Too Much Ado: 'Black Air' Is The Worst Movie On Cars Ever

"Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)" (gaborvajda)
03/10/2014 at 11:15 • Filed to: black air, buick grand national.

I was thinking just copy/pasting the title here a thousand times, but whatever.

Enough to say: the Buick Grand National and GNX used to be my favourite road cars. After watching the film, I would never want one.

There's just no nicer way of saying it: bunch of people in mid-life crisis having a hard-on the fact that the GN produced .1 second faster acceleration in 0-60mph than a contemporary Ferrari. What makes it even worse, that the majority of the film is spent on the face of these people, in relatively tight close-ups. And Ferraris. Then cut to 30 black Buicks.

Which totally misses the mark of making the car interesting. It makes the car however superbly dated and uninteresting. Never mentions why turbocharging is interesting, never explains what a turbocharger is. Not that I didn't know what it was or how it worked, but it completely fails to explain how it is interesting in the great picture of things.

Basically, the movie says the GN is a BLACK CAR and it produces some fine quarter-mile times.

Cut to old person's face and let him say. BLACK CAR.

Because, you know - BLACK CAR.

Geez, that's one terrible flick...

DISCUSSION (17)

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 11:18

Still haven't seen it, but I got this vibe from the trailers. No thanks.

offroadkarter > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 11:21

This is how car communities are with a lot of certain limited edition models aimed at the more "mature" audience. All the old marauder owners think that the marauder is the best car ever, even if it is slower than a new fiesta ST.

Its not the cars fault that the people who own it suck

AMC/Renauledge > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 12:21

Yeah, when I saw the trailers and all they talked about was how audacious and uncharacteristic this car was for Buick, I knew I wasn't interested.

Buick had decades of performance credentials, from the '36 Century to the GS455 Stage 1 to the turbo and S/C V6s. In fact, all the turbo Buicks from the '70s and early '80s, whether Skyhawks, Centurys, Regals, LeSabres, or Rivieras, had respected performance in the midst of a Malaise/Brougham era.

And yeah, watching a bunch of old guys use superlatives about a black car, without giving much real history, background, etc., sucks. It turns into too much of a "you had to be there" instead of a "you're here now and so is this."

LPOneThree > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 14:11

The movie was good. The car was the best thing that came out of America in the 80's(unfortunately the 80's sucked). Your a retard. The car is a legend. What did you expect a Ferrari F40? Its a sleeper.

Dusty Ventures > LPOneThree
03/10/2014 at 15:01

We don't do the personal insults thing here in oppo, my friend. Saying you think someone's statement is wrong is ok, calling them a retard is not.

Dusty Ventures > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 15:10

I still love the GN, but I agree with you on the film. I did find some of the backstory of the car interesting, and the opening story about the guy who raced a Ferrari against a GN was cool, but overall the film was dreary. And the people who never drove their prized GNs were just ridiculous to me.

Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V) > Dusty Ventures
03/10/2014 at 15:32

Not offended. Especially because it says "your a retard".

Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V) > AMC/Renauledge
03/10/2014 at 15:37

Yeah. The whole NASCAR thing is just left out as if they were ashamed of telling "oh, by the way - the Regal was a kick-ass NASCAR car, so they named this limited edition model the Grand National because of it". Giving zero information away? Turbocharged muscle car - that was the novelty about it, yet they almost failed to point out that it's turbocharged. WTF?

The car is massively interesting, but this film made it one of the dullest ones ever. I swear I've never seen such conunterproductive editing where they showed a bunch of Ferraris at a meeting and then cut to black boxy Buicks lined up next to each other.

It's not the car's fault, but the makers lost perspective totally.

Dusty Ventures > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 15:39

Just making sure he knows the rules of Oppo. Near as I can tell this was his first ever comment here

Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V) > offroadkarter
03/10/2014 at 15:39

Agreed. IMHO the car is super interesting, but this film managed to f*** it up with giving no information away with just bunch of old people drooling over the BLACK CAR.

Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V) > LPOneThree
03/10/2014 at 15:41

I don't have problem with the car. Like I said: one of my favourites. Yet the film fails to point out the sheer fact why the film is made of it.

Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V) > Dusty Ventures
03/10/2014 at 15:42

OMG, the car in the bubble was almost revolting.

AutoSavant > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 15:47

My son and I have one we bought and resurrected from near death when he was 14. He's 22 and it's been his daily driver ever since. The thing is a money pit, but it makes him mostly happy. The movie on the other hand, really disappointed him. We both expected interviews with the project engineers and racers, not a dude who keeps his in a bubble. The car is way more interesting when thought of as a skunk works type project with some really advanced technology for it's time. We talked about how we would have done a GN movie, and it would not have been anything like this. There would have been GM engineers, guys from Buddy Ingersoll s team , guys who wrenched on the Indy car Buick engine, and enthusiasts.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > offroadkarter
03/10/2014 at 16:02

Spot on. Fanboys are miserable human beings.

AMC/Renauledge > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 16:21

Absolutely. Buick's success at NASCAR is a story undertold, as well. NASCAR -> Grand National -> GNX. Not exactly a complicated relationship.

Keith Ori > Gabor Vajda (@Gabor_V)
03/10/2014 at 18:08

Black Air was harder to watch than Leaving Las Vegas , but for totally different reasons. Where Vegas was like getting kicked in the stomach, emotionally, Black Air was like getting kicked in the brain. There are very few programs I've ever regretted watching (which obviously means I don't watch reality shows), but Black Air breaks new ground. I want my 90 minutes back.

The film is so completely unfocused and bereft of a point that it's astonishing it got produced, let alone distributed. I will say it's rather inspiring in this regard: for Black Air to get the publicity and distribution it received means that even a moderately competent car film that actually utilizes things like story arc, editing, soundtrack, a point, etc. should do very well.

xen0blade > Dusty Ventures
03/11/2014 at 01:38

Yeah. I preordered the film, and seriously regret it. I only watched it once, and while I did, I kept hoping against hope that maybe the filmography would get better, or there would be a flood of interesting information. This is from a younger guy (under 30) who grew up with a GNX in the garage. Even though there was a Viper parked next to it, I found the GNX eminently more fascinating. This movie took my fascination and murdered it with a very boring axe.